Don't Try This at Home, Folks. Please. Just Don't.

I should have known two things:

1. I should have known not to try a random recipe from an unaffiliated internet site.

2. I should have known that a kiwi pie wasn't going to be very good.



But, I fooled myself into thinking that neither one of the above could be too horrible. And since our produce delivery box has sent us a kilo of kiwis each week for three weeks in a row, and I am so sick of kiwi smoothies in the mornings that no one else but me will drink, I thought I would look for a recipe that would use A LOT of kiwis, and that is why I decided to try a kiwi pie to use up the 27 kiwis that were still left in the refrigerator.

So here's what I did:
12 med. kiwis, peeled
1 c. water
3 tbsp. cornstarch
1 c. sugar
Pinch of salt
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. butter
1-2 drops green food coloring
9-inch baked pie shell

(3 Tablespoons of cornstarch, mind you! Where was my brain? But to my credit, I didn't add the food coloring.)

Step 1: Cut 9 kiwis in half and blot with paper towel.
Step 2: Blend the remaining 3 kiwis with water in blender or processor. In a saucepan, combine blended kiwi mixture with cornstarch, sugar and salt. Cook until thickened. Remove from heat and add butter and food coloring.
Step 3: Arrange halved kiwis in pie shell. Pour glaze over kiwis, coating them well.
Step 4:Chill for several hours.

My additions to recipe:

Step 5: Do not taste pie. Do not collect $200. Proceed directly to garbage can and throw pie away.

Step 6: Mark "No KIWIS" on produce delivery edit list.